How do you engage your mula bandha?

The bandhas are shrouded in mystery. And for good reason! Like the chakras, you can’t see them with the naked eye.

Mula bandha is one that we engage frequently in yoga if we bring our awareness and attention to do so. Otherwise, many yoga practices go by without ever giving Mula bandha any thought. But it’s an important energy center, and deserves attention on a daily basis. Wondering how to engage Mula bandha? Here’s how…

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The Mula bandha is also referred to as the root lock. It resides in the area of the Muladhara chakra (the first chakra, watch the picture below), at the base of the spine at the perineum. In Sanskrit, Mula means root—as in the root of a tree. Bandha, in Sanskrit, refers to the word lock. 

When we do the action of Mula bandha in yoga, we’re locking our root chakra, in a sense. To do this, we squeeze the pelvic floor. The action is similar to doing a kegel exercise (this can feel as though you are holding in the need to go to the toilet, for example when there is a long queue in the lady's bathroom!).

But, why do we pull up on the pelvic floor, engaging the perineum?

In yoga, Mula bandha is believed to enhance our powers of concentration, while also bringing in a state of greater calm and equanimity to the practitioner. These are all states of being we aim for during our yoga practice.

They’re necessary in order to perform the sometimes difficult practice of yoga and meditation day in and day out.

Plesure, Preformance and sexual Sensation

Toning your PC muscle can intensify your orgasm and give you a newfound strength where you can literally grip your man down there, giving him an out-of-this-world intimate experience too! Mastering Mula Bandha induces mind-blowing sex and that special connection with your partner.

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Benefits for men ;)

Mula Bandha engagement helps with the problem of premature ejaculation by increasing muscular control of the pelvis. A strong pelvic floor also allows some men to achieve a form of orgasm without ejaculation, thereby reaching multiple ‘climaxes’ during sexual activity.

That means longer lovemaking, and perhaps even more exciting is that fabulous moment when you both connect and share your climax together.

If you’re still confused as to how to engage Mula bandha, here’s another way of describing the action. Start by squeezing the muscles around your perineum. Then, let them go. You’ll want to do this several times a day, in order to get to know your Mula bandha.

As you bring more awareness to this area, practice squeezing the perineal muscles and holding them, while you breathe in and out. Slowly release after several rounds of breath.

Now you might want to practice pulling up on the perineal muscles as you inhale, then releasing them as you exhale. Coordinating your breath with this squeezing and releasing of the perineum will help you become more familiar with the region of Mula bandha. (Learn more in How Conscious Breathing Can Boost Your Yoga Asana Practice.)

Once you become more familiar with Mula bandha, you’ll want to bring your awareness to the center of your perineum, where true Mula bandha resides. Practice engaging the center, without doing much of anything with the surrounding muscles.

Once you can hone in on the center of the perineum, you’re really doing the subtle action that is Mula bandha.

Related:

5 Reasons You Can’t Hear Your Intuition

What a Traditional 7-Day Ayurvedic Detox Looks Like- journey toward healing - Part 2

WHAT IS PANCHAKARMA? + MY PERSONAL PANCHAKARMA STORY DURING MY TRIP TO INDIA PART 1

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Sacred Taoist Sex Secrets- the Taoist Tantra

"Qi" (also pronounced as "Chi"), the Chinese word for life energy, is the force within our bodies and within the universe that engenders all life and all things. The word itself has many translations, such as energy, air, breath, wind, or vital essence. There are 49 cultures around the world that understand the concept of Qi in one form or another; examples include Ki (Japanese), Prana (Sanskrit), Lung (Tibetan), Neyatoneyah (Lakota Sioux), Num (Kalahari Kung), and Ruach (Hebrew).

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It is understood that Qigong ("energy work") heals and purifies the physical, emotional, and spiritual energy fields of our bodies. As such, it transforms the self from deeply ill to radiantly healthy. Self-transformation then is a form of alchemy, where something base is turned into something beautiful.

Within our body, there are various natural energetic forces for healing and spiritual growth. Sexual healing is an important and profound aspect of healing and purifying that is almost completely neglected in the West today.

The Taoists view that sexual relations between male and female are the primary earthly manifestation of the universal principles of Yin & Yang. As such, the Chinese regard sex to be as natural and indispensable to human health and longevity as rain falling on the fields is to plant life.

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The intense sense of guilt attached to sexual matters in Jewish-Christian tradition is, in Chinese eyes, one of the most unpleasant and incomprehensible aspects of Western culture. Sex was considered a natural part of life.

During Qigong practice you use your concentration (based on your intention or desire) and your breath to activate and move your internal energy so that blockages are removed. These blockages cause pain on many levels, including the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Once the blockages are removed through regular Qigong practice or via the direction of a Qigong healer, one can release great inner tension and can begin to finally fully heal on all levels.

As you become better able to sense (increase your awareness of) and move your Qi, you will also be able to move your sexual energy, or Jing Qi, as well. The ability to expand and move your sexual energy allows you to transform your sexual energy into Qi, or life force, which will give you a great deal more energy as you live your life in the world. And when your energy is strong and your intention is clear, your Qi is transformed into spiritual energy, or Shen.

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Taoist texts described many special sexual positions that served to cure or prevent illness. The Quan Zhen Pai'm ("Perfect Realization School") Taoist school sought immortality through meditation, breathing exercises, bathing, gymnastics, sexual arts, medicines, chemistry, and other means.

Fángzhong Shù, literally "Joining Energy" or "The Joining of the Essences", is the Chinese name for the way some Taoists practiced sex. An important concept of "The Joining of the Essences" was that the union of a man and a woman would result in the creation of jing, a type of sexual energy. When in the act of lovemaking, jing would form, and one could transform some of this jing into qi, and replenish the lifeforce. By having as much sex as possible, one had the opportunity to transform more and more jing, and as a result would see many health benefits. They believed that by performing these sexual arts as a spiritual practice, one could stay in good health, and eventually, with some other spiritual or alchemical practices, attain immortality.

Scientists say that regular intercourse can cut the chance of a heart attack or stroke by 50%, significantly reduce the risk of prostate cancer, and give your immune system a boost. So both the ancient Taoists and modern experts agree that staying sexually active can increase both the length and quality of your life.

The major Taoist sexual techniques include teaching how to master the differences of sexual arousal of male and female, harmonizing the sexual will and desire, and liberating and activating the female while relaxing the male. These techniques can be used to prolong the sexual act and contribute to the pleasure of both partners. Emphasis was placed on breathing techniques (qigong) during sex to prolong a man's orgasm to make a woman orgasm several times to gain her yin essence.

In all the ancient Chinese sex manuals, woman is always depicted as the guardian of sexual arcana and the supreme source of life-sustaining essence and energy. In these texts the woman plays the role of the great initiator and teacher of sex, while the man is described as a sexually ignorant bumbler (as most modern day men have become thanks to a lack in education and the idea of sex being nothing but recreational entertainment, where the woman is just a fantasy object). This condition may explain the deep fear and resentment that many men harbor toward women.

Sexual practices help relax the nerves and increase blood flow; the more relaxed you become, the more easily Qi begins to flow. Sexual alchemy becomes possible as the body rejuvenates and transform one's self into a younger and healthier person. It also allows you to increase your physical pleasure and intensify your orgasms, especially for the woman in a relationship. Healing Love practice offers a practical method to access and integrate the two most powerful healing forces in the world: real love and sexual energy. These practices can increase your feelings of love and invigorate your body and soul.

A beautiful Tantric wedding of my friends @primavera. yoga IG

One invigorating sexual practice is called Tantric Sex. In China, Tantric Buddhism developed that called for engagement with the natural processes within the world and shared much with Taoism. Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing, and creative expression were sacred acts. Tantra is over 1600 years old, and like yoga, it originated in India. The word Tantra means "tools for expansion. or "to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave." It is a set of teachings and practices that are specifically designed to help us feel more, to increase our awareness of our own energy, and the energy around us. One path that Tantra uses to these ends is the exploration of sexual energy. Tantra uses such techniques as keeping one's eyes open during sex; prolonging foreplay slowly; sharing each other's breath, and creating an intimate space to interact in.

The goal of Tantric sex is to allow us to experience more depth and breadth in our sexuality. The goal is not necessarily to orgasm, but rather enriching the whole sexual experience. In Tantra, like Taoism, there is the idea that the smooth flow of energy in our bodies can get stuck somewhere in the system, becoming blocked from moving freely or depleted for a variety of reasons. The tantric practice works toward keeping the energy flowing through us smoothly and naturally.

BECOMING ONE

So how does all this Taoist wisdom translate into advice for modern people?

Cultivate your own sexual energy. Take time to breathe into your pelvic area filing your lower abdomen with qi down to your pelvic floor.

See sex as an energetic exchange with your partner. Sometimes this is lively and sometimes it is peaceful. Take the pressure to perform off yourself by seeing sex as one more way you and your loved one connect.

Pursue the kind of holistic health practices that bring balance to your body such as acupuncture, massage, and meditation.

Have sex. Make time to connect with your partner in this way. It’s good for your relationship, it’s good for your health, and if the Taoists are to be believed it’s good for your spirit.

@primavera.yoga “Sex essence is the source of all energy available for creative and thinking processes (shien).”

Mantak Chia, Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

Genuine trust develops that brings long term love, affection, and devotion. A couple can then finally become intimate with each other in the true sense of the word; each one connecting more fully and trusting that one is in complete support of the other. The result is complete joy and gratitude with oneself, one's partner, and the world. Tantric sex brings one on a spiritual path that is devoted and dedicated to the challenge of becoming aware, in every moment of our embodied lives, of the supreme flow of the sacred lifeforce itself—the Sacred Unity of Love.

photographer: Gianluca RIggi

Spread love,

Namaste

Aviv

The fifth chakra, the throat chakra

When I first heard about the chakras they felt a little esoteric. But once I began to learn about them, as well as the concept of energy and energetic pathways running through the human body, the chakra system began to make a lot of sense.


Chakras and chakra system – 7 energy centers that live in certain areas of our bodies and relate to certain life experiences:
• 1st chakra – sex center: pelvis, genitals, legs, feet, buttocks
• 2nd chakra – lower belly: beneath the navel and sacrum area on the back
• 3rd chakra – solar plexus: center of the body between the belly button and end of Sternum and center of the back.
• 4th chakra – heart: center of the chest between the nipples, breasts, armpits, arms, and hands, back between the shoulder blades.
• 5th chakra – throat: neck, Adam’s apple.
• 6th chakra – third eye: center of the brow, between the two eyebrows, end of nose and back of the head opposite the brow, linked to the Pineal gland in the center of the brain.
• 7th chakra – crown: top of the head and above the head.

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Today, I’d like to touch upon the inner workings of the fifth chakra, the throat chakra. This is the chakra that’s found in the subtle body near the throat. In Sanskrit, it’s known as visuddha.

It’s an important chakra to learn how to balance—especially for those of us who have a hard time speaking our innermost truth. If you have a difficult time expressing yourself, pay attention. The fifth chakra attributes include listening, speaking, writing, chanting, telepathy, and any of the arts- especially those related to sound and language.

For knowing more about the Mantras, you can check my article 

In this article, we’re going to explore how to develop and balance our throat chakra, in order to find and express truth.

The fifth Chakras

Each chakra corresponds to various parts of the body. Your throat chakra is said to govern the vocal cords, upper lungs, ears, mouth, and throat, as well as the thyroid and parathyroid glands, the neck, jaw, tongue, and larynx.

Every chakra is also related to an element. The throat chakra is ruled by the element of ether, or space. (The element ether, called “akasha” in Sanskrit is the first of the five great elements -earth, water, air, and fire-. It comes first because it is the most subtle of the elements. Often referred to as “space,” (or spirit) it is the essence of emptiness. It is the space the other elements fill. The element ether represents a world of vibrations- the emanations of living things that we experience as the aura, as sound, and as subtle plane of whispered impressions on the mind into which our more solid realities are enfolded))

There are also various seed, or bija, mantras related to each of the seven chakras. The one that enhances throat chakra healing is HAM.

Hans Jenny - Cymatics - sound waves produce patterns with remarkable similarity to forms found in the nature, such as spiral galaxies, iris and pupil pf the human eye. so amazing and make you think how sounds effect the minute cellular and atomic structores in our bodies

How to Tell if Your Visuddha Chakra Is Imbalanced

When your throat chakra is working optimally, your ability to express yourself and communicate freely and clearly comes naturally. You find it important and easy to speak from your highest truth.
When the energy within this chakra is flowing freely, you also have a way of listening deeply in order to understand the truths of your loved ones.

When your throat chakra is blocked or unbalanced, communication problems arise. You may find it difficult to speak up or have problems listening to others. When we notice these issues, it is best to spend some time healing and balancing your throat chakra.

Pranayama for Visuddha Chakra

To help open visuddha chakra, you’ll want to commit to a regular pranayama practice, and preferably one that’s geared specifically to the throat chakra. Some of the best ways to open this chakra are to practice the lion’s breath and ujjayi breath. Both of these techniques warm the throat area and stimulate energy around the throat chakra.

Bumblebee breath is yet another technique to work on. Notice how your throat is stimulated when you practice bumblebee breath. Choose one or two of these techniques—whichever ones resonate with you. Then practice them daily, perhaps before or after your asana practice or before your meditation.

Yoga Asana to Open Visuddha Chakra

Every yoga posture helps open certain chakra centers within the body. As such, you can craft entire yoga sequences around a specific chakra. The best postures for vishuddha chakra focus on the throat and include:

• Bridge pose (setu bandha sarvangasana)

• Camel pose (ustrasana)

• Plow pose (halasana)

• Supported shoulder stand (salamba sarvangasana)

Even simple neck rolls are great for the throat chakra. The neck much of the time acts as a filter between the abundant flow of energy between the mind and the body. This causes it to be extremely subject to tension and stiffness. Loosening the neck is an essential beginning for any work on the fifth chakra. You can also massage it with your fingers.

Head lifts help to stimulate the thyroid gland and helps strengthen the neck. Lie flat on your back and relax. Slowly lift your head, leaving your shoulders on the floor, so that you are looking at your toes. Hold this position until you feel the energy move into the beck.

Use your own knowledge and intuitive powers to work this area of the subtle body.

Chakra Meditation Music to Unblock Throat Chakra

Vow of Silence

Listening is an essential and too often overlooked component of communication. Yogis often take vows of silence for extended periods of time to purify their vibrations of audible sound and better tune into subtle sounds. By avoiding verbal communication, one can open up other avenues of communication, namely communication with higher consciousness. You can try a Vipassana retreat.

Consider How You Might Find Your Truth Through Visuddha Chakra

Knowing what you know now, consider how you might better find, and then speak your truth through visuddha chakra healing.

You’d be surprised how listening to yourself brings forth answers you never thought were there. The practices of journaling and meditation help you get in touch with your own intuitive powers.
You may want to use a journal to brainstorm the following questions:
• Where am I holding back in terms of speaking authentically?
• Is there a particular relationship that needs healthier and more truthful communication?
• Do I always speak my truth? If not, in what areas of my life and with whom can I work on this?

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You may also want to bring mindfulness to every word you speak. You can do this by pausing before you open your mouth to say something. During the pause, ask yourself, is what I’m about to say really true? If the answer is no, don’t say it. If the answer is yes, carry on.

You’d be amazed how bringing a sense of mindfulness to your speech really opens up your communicative skills, helping you better speak the truth in any and every situation.

Have fun finding your truth, and remember to be patient with yourself. Chakra balancing is a process and should be treated as such.

Namaste, 

Aviv

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Orgasm during a yoga practice? The yogasm plesure

yogasm requires not a specific position but a state of mind – it may take weeks, months or years of physical workouts to achieve it. But it is most often achieved during a deep meditative yoga designed to lead to spiritual awakening. It is not just a physical orgasm, but far beyond it. It feels like a huge release of energy. I get involuntary spasms and a ripple of energy through me and experience the most intense ecstasy. How to get it? keep reading :)

@primavera.yoga getting deep into the pose in Greece :)

I am not talking about classes in the US with flowers and sensual music. I am talking about feeling kind of orgasm while practicing Asanas (Ashtanga, Vinyasa are more effective for me), it exists but it can be a little embracing when it happens next to others (especially when it happens in front of your Indian teacher during my TTC when then he asks me to try to be quite hahaha.. oops). No one needs to touch you, you just go so deep into the practice and using deep breathing (Ujjay breath with a deep sound while using your belly- inhale blow your stomach and when you exhale pull it in as much as you can, slow and deep ;)).

@primavera.yoga the Mudra for the heart chakra

A yogasm does not always feel the same as a physical orgasm, rather, it is experienced all over the body. Some people do have a genital orgasm at the same time, though, and spontaneous orgasms can definitely happen, too. 

Anyone can achieve yogasm, even men (but I am still waiting for it to happen during my classes :).

@primavera.yoga Marathi Island, Greece

I teach people just to breath a bit more fully and deeply and to try to really feel the parts of the body wich the asana refers to, and then try to breathe and get deeper. I ask them to use their imagination and move this energy through their body. It’s a bit like mindfulness, a bit like meditation. But as a normal orgasm, it should come naturally :).

The main thing about yoga is that it gets people to have a better relationship with themselves. It’s about bringing people back to understand their own bodies in the best way that they can. People will sometimes text me saying that they felt euphoric after a class or that they have had better sex because of it.

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The other thing is that it helps them to feel better physically and emotionally, so they feel more alive in their relationships, and from that, they might have a better sex life. I guess it is even more important then yogasm ;).

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Sex researchers are also honing in on the subject: “It’s another way that a woman can bring herself to orgasm without touching herself,”.

There are other non-sexual activities that are said to induce orgasms, such as ecstatic birth (I didn't try it yet, so I can't tell about it 😃).

@primavera.yoga Eat more Plants. Do more yoga 😊

you can ask questions on the comment below :)
Have a beautiful day,

Namaste, 

Aviv

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49 REASONS WHY WOMEN CAN’T ORGASM DURING SEX

We are living in a culture of severely under-fucked and unloved women. Women living without the ambiance of sensual love wilt and dry up like flowers, often experiencing depression, despair, and stress. And now, after being maybe too dramatic (I think it is a good reason for being dramatic personally)

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If you are having a hard time experiencing pleasure and orgasms during sex, it could be due to the following reasons:

1.   You are having sex with someone you do not actually like or truly attracted to. There is no real interest nor passion towards your partner. There is a chance they are a complete stranger. There is a lack of trust, vulnerability or intimacy. Your heart is closed out of protection.

2.   The kind of sex you are having is not in alignment with your true desires (ex. having rough sex while yearning for sensual love-making). You are doing what you think is considered good/trendy/cool sex.

3.   You are trying to impress your partner during sex instead of enjoying yourself and your body. Your full concentration is on them. (It is great to think about yourself in the bedroom)

4.   You’ve heard that many women struggle to orgasm during sex so you assume that it's a normal thing that you do not either!!! (I e hear that reason a lot)

5.   You do not really know what or how you like to receive pleasure. You are impatiently waiting for your lover to figure it out for you. (I really recommend you to read the book Orgasm Unleashed: Your guide to pleasure)

6.   Your judge the quality of sex-based on whether you orgasm. The main goal is to orgasm as fast as possible to appear adequate and low-maintenance as a lover. Your inability to orgasm leads to feelings of failure.

7.   You assume that the only way you will orgasm is if you have an amazing tantric lover. Fake news 😄.

8.   Sex is primarily fast, hard and aggressive. Movements feel rushed with the sole purpose of getting yourself or your partner to orgasm. At some point, the body, especially the genitals, begins to feel numb from over-stimulation, often requiring even rougher movements or high-intensity sex toys.

9.   The muscles in your vagina are tense and are preventing you from orgasms. Tension and numbness in the vagina are the body’s coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Many women experience tension in their vaginal muscles due to rough sex, emotional stress, and blockages as well as unpleasant and painful sexual experiences and abuse.

10.  Your partner’s hygiene is not great, yet you feel too shy to ask them to shower before sex. There is a sense of disgust or revulsion which are you trying to battle during sex. Have a shower together before ;).

11.  You feel ashamed about your true kinks/desires thus never sharing them with your partner. You are worried about being rejected for your “weirdness”.

12.  You become frustrated, annoyed and upset if you not feeling orgasmic. You secretly resent yourself or your partner for this. You feel broken and ashamed.

13.  There is a sense of tension in the body during sex, especially the face, jaw, and genitals. Just relax and feel your body, the touch, make noises.

14.  Sex follows a typical predictable “route” and barely sways off to different directions -mouth kissing > neck kissing > breast licks > belly licking down > quick oral sex to make it wet  >  rapid penetration > fake or real orgasm. Boring and predictable!

15.  Primary concentration during sex is on each other’s genitals, with an occasional stroke/lick of the rest of the body. Penetration is considered the main form of sex. It often happens before you are fully aroused.

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16.  Unless penetration happens, everything else is not considered “sex”.

17.  You often find yourself working hard to become aroused as fast as possible so your partner can penetrate you. You feel ashamed for needing more time to become wet. You are worried that foreplay feels like a chore to your partner.

18.  To orgasm, you often wander off into naughty/pornographic fantasies. There is a sense of boredom or feeling of “not enough” with what is happening in the present moment.

19.  You are not sure what your partner actually likes when it comes to sex. In fact, you never shared what you like with them either.

20.  You are bombarded with distracting insecure thoughts about your body, your taste/smell, and sexual performance. You are too insecure to share this vulnerability with your partner. You are in a constant state of fighting off these thoughts. 

21.  You are too insecure to give feedback or ask for something different from your partner for fear of hurting their feelings. You pretend that you are enjoying yourself even though you are not. 

22.  You work hard at not being “high maintenance” in bed, often giving up receiving pleasure or faking orgasms. You do not wish for your partner to “work hard”.

23.  You treat your partner’s pleasure as more important than yours. Sex is considered finished when your partner orgasms. You either fake your orgasm or lie that you do not need it.

24.  You think it is the responsibility of your lover to turn you on and make you orgasm every time. You are frustrated when they don’t.

25.  You feel pressured to do certain sexual acts that you do not enjoy, or which physically hurt you toin order to please your partner. Certain sexual acts trigger you.

26.  You are passive during love-making. You feel it is your partner’s job to “do all the work”. You just lie there wondering why you can’t orgasm.

27.  You feel a time pressure to orgasm, often reaching for the vibrator to assist you. You feel ashamed for needing a toy in order to orgasm. It is better not to start to use vibrators, cause it will be too hard to get orgasm during sex after getting used to the high vibration of the vibrator.

28.  You assume you have no G-spot and do not even try to explore that part of your body :(.

29.  While your partner seems engulfed in their pleasure, you feel left behind, invisible and used. You do not speak up, silently enduring your emotional or physical discomfort. You smile and pretend that everything is ok.

30.  Penetration does not feel pleasurable to you. You feel vaginal tension, dryness, and even mild pain after 10-15 minutes. Due to prolonged frisky penetration during partner sex, your vagina feels swollen/sore after sex.

31.  Over the years of vigorous masturbation with high-intensity vibrating toys, you have over-stimulated your G-spot and now you do not experience much sensitivity inside your vagina. She feels numb.

32.  You feel insecure about the look/smell/taste of your genitals. You cannot relax during oral sex, so you skip it altogether or pretend that you do not enjoy it.

33.  You are having sex out of relationship obligation, out of desire to appear cool or because your partner is “hot "or because you feel like you owe it to them. You are not sure about your true motivation for having sex.

34.  You have casual sex even though you secretly do not enjoy it. Everyone else seems to enjoy it so you are trying to figure out how to have “sex without feelings”. You crave deeper connection and a committed relationship yet too afraid to admit it to those you date.

35.  You suppress any ‘non-sexy emotions” for fear of ruining the sexy mood such as feelings of tenderness, love or even crying.

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36.  You feel too shy to ask your partner to slow down, to take a break or even let them know that you need to pee or water. You are worried it will ruin the mood.

37.  You are “performing” an ideal image of a sexy lover in order to impress your partner instead of being yourself (ex. acting like a horny porn star). You are not sure what a ‘true you’ actually is. You are worried to let go and make your true sex noises or facial expressions. You spend the entire time making “sexy moans” and “sexy faces”.

38.  You do not look at each other in the eye during sex, keeping your eyes closed most of the time. It feels too intimate and scary.

39.  There is a lack of intimacy/sensuality during and after sex. You crave cuddling and aftercare yet are too shy to voice this need. There is an awkwardness between you both after sex.

40.  You are too shy to allow your partner to see certain parts of your body thus staying half-clothed, covering yourself with bedsheets or turning off the lights during sex. You feel repulsed by parts of yourself and do not believe your partner when they tell you that they find you attractive.

41.  You fantasy about someone else while having sex with your partner or you are in love with someone else.

42.  You are having sex for purposes other than pleasure and connection – to get the job/promotion, to forget an ex, to be considered cool, as a form of relationship manipulation.

43.  Sex feels to lack in genuine playfulness and lightheartedness. There is a serious determination to orgasm.

44.  Alcohol/drugs are a constant presence in your love life. You are unable to relax and let go during sober sex.

45.  You are worried about unwanted pregnancy or STD’s during lovemaking. You are too shy to ask your partner to use a condom or show you their STD test results.

46.  You are repressing your true sexual orientation, having sex based on what your culture deems appropriate.

47.  You are obsessing over minor things during sex such as a pimple on your butt or an ingrown hair. Your assumption that your partner disapproves of it, won't allow you to relax into pleasure.

48.  You find yourself easily distracted or annoyed by small things such as a wrong playlist, street or television noise, temperature in the room, etc.

49.  Your partner is using delay gel/spray, this is also affecting you.

Great sex is MORE than orgasm and rubbing onto a naked partner’s body. Great sex is 10% skills and 90% state of mind. Orgasmic sex involves genuine pleasure, connection, intimacy, transcendence, compatibility, self-expression and play. Great sex is about expressing one’s unique eroticism. Eroticism gifts us meaning.

Conventional sex is fast-food sex. It fills up short-term cravings yet leaves you starving in the long run. Conventional sex is not a sustainable form of love-making and is one of the main reasons why couples eventually stop having sex. It is especially damaging to the female body and sexual psyche.

Lack of knowledge of how the female body operates, lack of emotional connection and excessive stimulation of the genitals leave a woman feeling used and unloved. The body begins to lose its capacity to feel. Eventually, women require harder, faster and more intense stimulation like vibrators in order to feel pleasure.

The idea that women do not desire sex as much as men do is a sad myth. Women simply aren’t having the amazing sex worth craving. When a woman is being made love to the way her body and heart have been designed for, she blossoms as a highly aroused orgasmic woman.

It is time to step out of conventional sex into the world of conscious pleasurable sex!

Namaste 🤍

Aviv

For more articles:

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